Every Day is Women’s Day
And Men’s Day as well
Last Friday, we celebrated International Women's Day, in honor of many women who died fighting for gender equality and against violence.
I usually don't participate in demonstrations. As a Bioneuroemoción® guide, I've learned that in order to change my reality and help others do the same, I need an innocent, non-judgmental mind. But I do enjoy observing and listening to everything around me. This week, several situations made me reflect on this topic.
Dune and Women
Last Wednesday, I went to see Dune 2 with my sister, and what caught my attention was how women, specifically the Bene Gesserit, controlled and manipulated everything. They decided how things would be, whom they would have children with, even hypnotizing men to get pregnant without their knowledge, deciding who would be in power and who needed to be eliminated. Essentially, the image of these women expresses an absolute matriarchy, although it might not be obvious at first glance.
Barbie and Women
A few days later, I watched Barbie, a film I’d wanted to see for a while. To my surprise, I saw something similar—a land where women decide everything and exclude and devalue men, making them invisible.
In the movie, we see Ken stepping into the real world and experiencing what it’s like to be “seen,” respected, and wanting to bring that back to his world of dolls. It’s interesting how one polarity flips to the other, creating the patriarchy we all know. The Barbies decide to take their land back and regain power, using manipulative strategies, generating jealousy and competition between the Kens, and of course, they succeed.
J.Lo and Men
I also watched J.Lo’s latest film, which was essentially a presentation of her new album. She firmly believes in love, constantly searching for the perfect man and jumping from one relationship to another, never pausing to feel her heartbeats. In the end, she marries and divorces three times, using men to her benefit without considering how they feel.
The endings of Barbie and J.Lo’s story both show that the solution lies in loving oneself and listening to the heart’s desires, going inward, embracing the abandoned child that feels alone. Only after cultivating that self-love can we share with the outside world.
Real Life
We can say that these are just movies, but we know this happens in real life too. Reflecting on this, two memories came to mind. The first is of my ex-partner, who, while living together, often expressed feeling inferior, especially when I earned my university degree and he didn’t have one. Watching Ken in the movie reminded me of his comments, and I wondered if I, like Barbie, failed to value him and didn’t realize it—most likely, I did.
The second memory is from years ago when I lived with a girl during my digital nomad years. She was very feminist and once told me she hated men, yet every week she brought a different one home and felt bad when she couldn’t connect with them.
When I asked why she was with them if she hated men so much, she answered, “To make them suffer like they’ve made us suffer.” This led to many questions, the most important one being: will we truly achieve balance and equality this way? Or are we trying to become Bene Gesserit and make every night a girls’ night like the Barbies?
Releasing Judgment and Positioning
I hope I’m not misunderstood. As I said earlier, I’m neither for nor against anything. I don’t want to take a position or make judgments. My intention is to plant a seed so that we begin working on our perception and attitudes.
I have no shame in saying that I am a woman with many reasons to hate and repel men. I’ve been harassed, abused, followed in a car, called on the phone, verbally abused, and many times I’ve been afraid to go out at night and locked myself inside my house because only there did I feel safe.
Until I got tired of living like that and told myself, “There must be another way to live.” Thanks to the consciousness that God has always given me, I could recognize that I was repeating patterns, although I didn’t understand why. And it was Bioneuroemoción® that helped me understand that I carry unconscious information in my veins that causes me to live certain experiences.
A New Way to Live
From that moment on, I learned to see life through different lenses. I realized that as long as my mind held the belief that I was in danger out there, that would continue happening to me. I understood that I was repeating family patterns, but I was free to say “no more.” That’s something that changes within, worked on the inside, applied every day of my life, not just on March 8th.
I recognized that I was angry with the woman for not defending me and not teaching me to do so. I realized I was afraid and yes, resentful toward men, but that didn’t help me live better. By rejecting them, I was rejecting that part of myself that they represent. I came to see for myself that men also suffer, are abused, have programming and beliefs instilled in them, and in many cases, feel inferior.
As long as we continue to act with manipulation, control, anger, and resentment, we perpetuate separation, hatred, and duality. And that will never bring us gender equality.
Equality Begins Within
Equality begins within me. If I see that I am separated or discriminated against outside, I need to look for that within myself. As Krishnamurti says, “We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.” The outside world is simply a reflection of what is inside me, so change starts within.
And even small changes can make a difference, like looking at myself in the mirror and speaking words of kindness, valuing my time and energy instead of wasting them on things I don’t desire or people I don’t care about, being consistent and saying “yes” when I mean it, and saying “no” when I don’t feel like doing something, stopping doing things out of obligation, stopping having sex when I don’t feel like it, stopping going out with someone just to avoid being alone, learning to take better care of myself, eating better, sleeping well, and looking after my safety and well-being…
It doesn’t sound that difficult, does it? The problem is that neither men nor women have been taught to do this. For a long time, we’ve settled for what we were given, but today we have the opportunity, the resources, and the tools to learn to live better, differently, with awareness and coherence.
Unity Makes Strength
I wish, dear woman, that your heart finds peace and joy, that you become as free as a bird, that you stop seeing the world as a threat and feel at home, that you embrace and love intensely without fear of being hurt, that you dare to show your light and talents without repression, that you understand that man is not your enemy, but he too, like you, has suffered.
If we continue holding onto grudges and resentment, it’s like drinking poison every day. But if we decide to do our personal work with love and compassion, we can heal our deepest wounds. By understanding that unconscious information rules us and makes us live experiences that hurt us, we can change our perception and see that there is another way to live.
The world changes around me when I change my inner world, my beliefs, my conditioning, my emotional patterns. Then, our ancestral lineage heals, our relationships heal, our children heal, because we have the possibility to change and stop repeating stories.
And if we integrate this, accepting men with love and accepting women with love, working together without blaming each other, the scales can be balanced…