'The deep takes time'

Although what was requested seems simple and could be done with two sentences, my heart insists on expanding a little more.

In the midst of darkness, fears, changes, and ignorance, the universe magically connected us. Without knowing me or having seen me before, you gave me support, containment, and offered your love and knowledge.

Today, with nothing but deep gratitude, I dedicate myself to sharing my experience during your accompaniment.

The concrete - BNE®:

I must confess that I didn't know what to expect at the start of the session, even though I researched and you explained how the work would be.

When we started, it was very helpful to reinforce the dynamics and understand certain 'norms' of work. Not only did it calm my anxiety about what would happen, but it also helped me during the session to accept some dynamics.

The initial conversation was key! It allowed me to loosen my tongue a little and break the ice.

Always with a lot of clarity in speaking and communicating, especially when I presented situations that were tangled in my mind, you were able to straighten out the facts for me and weave a less tangled story.

I must confess that, even though you warned me about the pauses if I talked too much, I was impacted every time you raised your hand to stop me. I felt stuck, and my body just wanted to keep developing that idea that was in my mind at that moment. That's why I was grateful to be warned that it would happen; it allowed me to breathe through that discomfort and remember it was part of an initial agreement.

During the session, I felt very comfortable, relaxed, free to share whatever might arise without fear of being judged. I felt that whatever I said would not be looked down upon, but rather that there was a genuine search for the root of a pain in my case.

I found it very complex to speak in the present while placing myself in the past, needing to close my eyes to really situate myself in that time and space, as when I had my eyes open, I couldn’t actively visualize myself in the past.

This made me uncomfortable because I understood that I had to do it with my eyes open, but it wasn’t possible for me to tell the past story in the present without visualizing it.

Finding exact dates and moments of precision seemed one of the most difficult tasks. I don't know if it's because of resistance or personality. But I felt pressured each time to provide an exact date; the years often blur together for me, as do the months and days. In these moments, I asked myself what was the need for such precision while trying to stir my mind for events that would position me at the closest date. By the end of the session, I better understood the search for exact dates and moments.

My narratives revealed traits of my personality that I didn’t even understand. That astonished me. Through your specific questions, I noticed that I avoided sharing information to shield myself from some feelings. I not only found this fascinating, but I was also amazed by your ability to listen so broadly that you noted small 'flaws' in my speech due to imposed barriers or personal protections. I thought, 'How easily my mind deceives, and how incoherent my story must be for the listener,' until I felt embarrassed.

At the moment of closure, of feedback, I don’t know how to describe how I felt listening to your words.

I thought about hugging you to embrace myself. I was overwhelmed with great sensitivity connecting with that past (my gestation) to reveal the cause of a physical pain. At the same time, I was paralyzed listening to everything that could emerge from a symptom. So much information, history, and events that got recorded in my body, mind, and spirit. Changing the focus and perception of moments from my childhood, turning the story around, helped me heal emotions towards family members and also forgive with compassion. But above all, I felt liberation.

In my opinion, it was a difficult but very satisfying process. I got to know myself better, embrace myself, and stop blaming myself. It helped me understand the reasons behind some personal attitudes, which encouraged me to change them.

Regarding you, Victoria, I just want to thank you for the space. During the session, you guided me with great patience and tolerance.

You gave me the needed time when I needed to think. You always communicated with great respect and sensitivity to what I was expressing. Even though I sometimes shared things that seemed insignificant to me, you didn’t minimize what I felt and my emotions. I truly felt you empathized with every circumstance and experience.

As always, your messages are inspiring, and I take away a lot of learning. I listen with great admiration to all the knowledge you share; you transmit it from the heart, and it is felt.