Stepping Out of the BOX: How to Break the Chains of Blind Obedience

Sep 24

From Conformity to Authenticity: A Path to Awareness and Freedom

In the past two articles, we’ve been exploring the BOX we often find ourselves trapped in—without even realizing it. I’ve already discussed the "B," which stands for beliefs, and provided tools to help you identify and replace limiting beliefs.

Now, let’s dive into the "O" of the BOX, which stands for obedience. In this article, we’ll explore what obedience really means, its implications, and how to identify areas in your life where you may be following others’ rules without even realizing it. The goal is to empower you to break free from these constraints and take charge of your life.

Are you ready? Let’s go…

The Search for Authenticity: My Spiritual Journey

As a teenager, I began noticing a growing disconnect between my beliefs and the teachings of the Catholic school I attended. While I was required to attend mass and confession, I realized these rituals didn’t feel necessary for my personal connection with the divine. I discovered that I could communicate with God, the angels, and my spiritual guides in the intimacy of my own room. This realization led me to question the Church’s institution, but not my faith in God.

I soon felt a strong desire to explore other religions and philosophies. I dabbled in Buddhism, shamanism, spiritism, and even Hinduism. I discovered positive aspects in each of them that enriched my life. This journey inspired me to build my own system of values and beliefs—taking what resonated with me and leaving behind what didn’t.

A couple of years ago, I met someone who followed a religion that imposed strict guidelines. He couldn’t understand how I could be “spiritual” without following one specific religion. In frustration, he once said, “You can’t just pick what you like from each religion. You have to choose one and accept both the good and the bad.”

This statement struck me deeply. It was a clear example of blind obedience—following something without fully understanding or agreeing with it. He had chosen to accept aspects of his faith that didn’t sit well with him, simply because he thought he had to. He felt guilty about secretly breaking some of those rules, but he still couldn’t see the disconnect.

The Price of Blind Obedience

What I came to realize is that blind obedience comes with a heavy price: anger, resentment, and a lack of personal responsibility. When we awaken from this type of obedience, we often become angry with authority figures—whether it’s God, our boss, or our parents—blaming them for our situation. But in truth, that obedience was our own choice. We failed to take responsibility for our own lives and growth, and instead lived on autopilot, accepting rules without questioning them.

This lack of personal commitment leads to incoherence in our actions. We follow orders without understanding why we’re doing it or for what purpose. It can cause us to live inauthentically and blindly adhere to norms and expectations that don’t serve our true selves.

Let me be clear: I’m not against religion. I know it can offer comfort and guidance, especially in times of pain. In fact, I believe that when we’re struggling, having something to believe in—whether it’s a higher power, a community, or a set of values—can give us the strength to keep going.

But what I do find frustrating is how blind obedience to any set of rules—whether religious, social, or professional—can cause us to lose touch with our authenticity. It stops us from questioning and breaking free from the things that no longer serve us.

Why Do We Obey Blindly?

So, why do we obey blindly? One reason is the secondary benefits it brings. When we don’t have to make choices and let others decide for us, it relieves us from the responsibility of taking charge of our lives. We don’t have to face the fear of being wrong or taking the blame for the outcomes of our decisions. It feels easier to just follow along and let someone else carry that burden.

But ultimately, when we choose to take responsibility for our lives, we break free from that need to blame others. We embrace the discomfort of making our own decisions and taking ownership of the consequences.

Suggestions to Break Free from Automatic Obedience

Breaking free from blind obedience is a powerful act of reclaiming your autonomy. Here are some steps you can take to begin this process in any area of your life:

Foster Self-Confidence
Trust in your ability to make decisions and handle the consequences. Self-confidence is the foundation of resisting the urge to obey blindly.
Educate Critical Thinking
Read, explore, and learn about different perspectives. Expanding your knowledge will give you the tools to question norms and expectations and evaluate whether they align with your values. I recommend books like The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement by Miguel Ruiz for insights on breaking free from societal conditioning.
Develop Autonomy
Start by making small decisions independently and gradually build up to more significant ones. As you practice autonomy, you’ll strengthen your ability to take charge of your life.
Seek Support
Surround yourself with people who encourage your personal growth and support your path to autonomy. A strong support network can help you stay firm in your resistance to blind obedience.

When you’re ready, take the following steps to reinforce your new mindset:

Set Clear Boundaries
Define what you are willing to accept and what you are not. Communicate these boundaries clearly to others, and stick to them. Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix (Urgent/Important) to help prioritize tasks and decisions.
Practice Saying No
Start by saying “no” to small requests to build your confidence. For example: “Thank you for the offer, but I won’t be able to commit to this.” This can help you reclaim your time and energy.
Evaluate Your Capacity
Regularly check in with yourself to assess whether you have the capacity to take on additional commitments. If you don’t, be willing to decline.
Find a Reference and Accountability Partner
Seek out a trusted friend or mentor to help you stay true to your goals and boundaries. They can hold you accountable and offer guidance along the way.
Practice Mindfulness and Reflection
Before making decisions, take a moment to reflect. Mindfulness gives you the space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

Believe in Yourself

Remember, breaking free from blind obedience is about embracing your own authenticity and taking responsibility for your life. When you make decisions based on your values and not on the expectations of others, you’ll unlock your true potential.