Did you know that everything you see around you has to do with you?
The reality you’re experiencing right now has been created by you, unconsciously...
Yes, that’s right. The reality you’re seeing right now is a result of your unconscious creation.
Let me explain further. We carry information in our blood, and that information vibrates in a certain way, emitting a resonance. The experiences we live arise from this vibration because we attract into our lives what resonates with that information.
This is why it's so important to understand what kind of information we carry... Because if we don’t know it, how can we change our reality? And something else extremely important: How can we become aware of all of this?
Projection
Last week, I talked about the importance of our relationships, the Libra equinox that will show us the imbalance in those relationships that need adjustment, and how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be so useful for improving understanding between parties.
This week, I want to talk to you about projections, because it is through them that we can discover the hidden information in our unconscious. My mentor always says, “If you don’t know what you’re giving, observe what you’re receiving.” That’s what observing projections is about. What do I perceive from the outside? What situations keep repeating themselves, and not only do I not understand why, but I also blame others or life itself for what happens to me?
By reflecting on this and understanding these projections, I can uncover the shadow that’s hidden beneath the surface. From there, I can decide what to do with it.
The Shadow
You might be wondering, what is the shadow? Let me explain: Since we are children and as we grow, we observe the world based on what we see and hear around us. We start making associations and categorizing all this information in a specific way. This leads us to judge certain things we see, and when we judge them, we label that attitude or behavior as “not allowed.” What’s not allowed gets blocked, hidden under the rug, and becomes a shadow...
Here’s an example: I once had a client who grew up not being able to smile because her brother was always sick. She grew up with the belief that “showing happiness” was not acceptable, so she hid it. She became a very responsible, serious, and quiet child. She didn’t allow others to see her happy because it wasn’t something that could happen in her home—everyone was always sad. How could she be happy? Crazy, right? But true…
The Duality
At first, we think we’ve already grown past this. We think we’ve let it go. But unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. We live in a dual world. Just as there is day, there is also night. And how could we see the stars if we didn’t have the night? Both polarities are necessary and coexist. If one disappears, the other does too.
So, when we judge behaviors and attitudes, we block them. But in reality, they’re still there. What the unconscious does is bring them to light so we can see them and integrate them. This usually comes from the outside—another person who mirrors the behavior we've judged, so that we can recognize it, stop judging it, and integrate it.
Remember my client who didn’t allow herself to smile? Well, she found a partner who is always smiling, super upbeat, and just wants to have fun. And this actually bothers her a little. Coincidence? Not at all. It’s resonance...
The Integration
So, when I open myself to the possibility that the other person isn’t “doing anything to me” and, in fact, is helping me see myself and get to know myself better, I lighten the load, and responsibility returns to me. From there, I can decide what to do with it.
Relationships are the best way to get to know myself. It’s when I expose myself by sharing with another person that the shadow has the chance to express itself and be embraced. In the end, remember—we are both light and shadow, all at once.
Back to my client—what does her partner teach her? He teaches her to allow herself to smile more, to have fun the way he does, knowing that no one is prohibiting her from doing so. She now owns her life and chooses what to do with it.
So here’s the good news... If you are creating your own reality, only you can change it. You don’t need anything external to do so. You just need to take responsibility for your life and make that change today. Are you ready?